Smoke and Mirrors

She was looking at him as he stood on the road with a cigarette between his index finger and his thumb. He stood there under pale sunlight, the brightest after heavy rain. The sun shone in his eyes, which were now a darker shade of brown. He inhaled a puff and exhaled. His head was gently nodding to whatever was being explained to him by a friend. The action seemed absentminded but his expressions were focused.

She was still looking at his cheekbones, his perfectly pink lips unaffected by the tobacco, when he looked back at her. She knew she should have turned her gaze away, but his dark brown eyes were something to keep looking at, keep admiring. He smiled a faint, small smile that wrinkled only one side of his face.

She wondered how it would feel to kiss him right then and there. Will his tongue taste of smoke and ash? Will his breath be warmer than the first time they’d kissed? She remembered how it felt when he suddenly grabbed her by her waist in the middle of a verbally violent fight and kissed her so vigorously that her lower lip bled. She thought of his hands over her tender breasts and how strongly and passionately he had held them. It pained, but she couldn’t have had enough of it.

“Kaaya,” he pulled her out of her reverie. The crooked smile on his face told her that he knew what she’d been thinking. He was pacing with the grace of a wolf, making her both nervous and wanting. The closer he came, the heavier her breathing felt. He was too close now. His lips were too tight that she could almost feel them on hers. “You want it again, don’t you?” there was such pride in his voice she couldn’t have accepted that she did want it. “Never. I’d never even want you to touch me again,” she said, trying to make it sound harsh and bitter, but failing miserably. “But, you are letting me touch you now. ” she could Now feel what she didn’t recognize earlier. His fingers were lacing her hair so softly that it was a comfort that could easily escape unfelt. So it did. He was closing in when she ducked herself out of his arms. “Stay away. That is all I want from you. ” and walked away with steps as quickly as possible, leaving him behind with a look that was a mix of amusement and disappointment.